How do we chose our friends? What distinguishes a friend from a mere acquantance?
Children are more likely to become friends when they are alike in age, sex, ethnicity, race and interests similar.
In adolescents, as in adulthood, it is similarity in attitudes, life goals, and intelligence that helps us establish a friendship.
Just recently i had a discussion with my friend about things/characteristics in personalities that we didnt like in other people. We ended up talking a lot about friendship and what it means to us, how we find friends and how rare they are.
For example, think your best, best, bestest friend in the whole wide world. How did you meet and how did they become your best friend?
How come we like one person but not another? It's because we look for oursleves in other people. we look for our attitutes and beliefs in our friends. We look for people who share those attitudes and beliefes as they are most likely to support us when it coems down to it. If you think about it, considering we are all different, everyone has the chance to have and make friends even people that you can't stand. Have you ever not been able to stand someone because their beliefs were just too different from yours so that you thought: how can anyone put up with this and be their friend?????
i know i have, not many times but once or twice have i met people that have just the complete opposite view of me and we just never got along. we didnt fight but we just didnt talk. we did our best if we had to work together in classes but that's about it.
I'm sure most of you have had similar experiences. I never qite understod that friendship phenomenon but i guess your clos friends now are close because of proximity and how much tim eyou spent and had to get to know each other. For example i had a best friend in austria before i left, we still send each other letters and keep in touch, keep each other updated in the happenings in our lives, however i do sometimes worry that maybe since i havent seen her in six years she might have become a different person by now. i now i have changed a LOOOT since coming to singapore. it's just very hard to be friends when you are thousands of kilometres apart. so i do think proximity is very important. however i also believe that distance helps establish whether it is real friendship or if it's just an acquaintance. For example, my friend and i have been writing each other letters for six years. there are quite a few people in austria that used to write me but then stopped because maybe it was too muc work to them and i just wasn't worth it. i dont know but i do know that i'll always appreciate my best friend who still writes me because she's my only connection to my home. My point is really, that it if you are still in touch after so many years you must have something special because it would be a lot easier to just go look for another friend. there are quite a few people that i know in singapore but only few that i know i will be in touch with if i leave singapore. there are just always people that you can trust with anything and then there'll be those that you can have fun hanging out with, but nothing more. Interesting.
4 comments:
Hey, friendships are really important in life. friends are there for u when u need them or whenever u nid a luff, gossipy, shopping, movies, or daydreaming.
To me.. Friends keep me from being insane, & I will always know that they will always be there for me when I need them despite their tight schedules or distance. I don't call my frens when I nid them, i juz tot of them & sometimes I receive their calls or sms unexpectedly. lol
Distance could b factor but when u trust e relationship w ur frens, nth could go wrong. =) I'm glad u'r my friend. *huggies*
Hey jules =] I agree strongly with this statement 'it's just very hard to be friends when you are thousands of kilometres apart. so i do think proximity is very important. however i also believe that distance helps establish whether it is real friendship or if it's just an acquaintance.' I have been this situation too and its when you're seperated from these friends that mean so much to you is when your relationship is really tested and how much keeping the relationship as close to what it was before means to both the people involved. Distance is a horrible thing to come between the people that mean alot to you, but I think unfortunately it's a cruel but fated twist in life that tends to show you the true colours of friendships and reality. =[
I totally agree that it's just very hard to be friends when you are thousands of kilometres apart.
I studied in Australia for 2 yrs, had a number of friends when i was there, but haven't been in contact with most of them since i got back. Making friends is easy but maintaining the friendship is alwayz the tough part. It takes both party to maintain a friendship, distance might be a problem but if one party is not doing anything to keep the friendship going even if they both live just next to each other nothing works too.
Just glad that I have a few close friends who are 'clapping' with me to keep our decade long friendship going :) hope urs r too!;)
I know what it feels to be far away from your friends. I have a lot of friends from my old school, but as i leave Indonesia, only few people i still keep in touch with. Even my bestfriends, i hardly keep in touch with them. I don't know why, maybe because we are too busy with our university, or we already don't care anymore about each other. I know its so sad, plus it's hard for me to find a new friend when the first time i studied in Singapore. I think it's because of language problem and also different culture. When I already make new friends and feel comfortable with them, he/she left into another country. Until now, i don't have a lot of friends in Singapore as in Indonesia. But i do appreciate ALL my friends. They mean something to me, they're special! I realize that friendship is important, therefore i hope that maybe if i leave this country, i still keep in touch with them. Frens 4 eva gals!
Post a Comment