This time i thought i'd blog about altruism and egoism. After watching American Idol's charity show called "Idol gives back", how many of you were in tears over the kids in Africa that die every 3 minutes of malaria, or maybe the thousands of children in the same part of world who have been orphaned because their parents died of AIDS and many of the kids themselves are HIV positive? How many of you cried? Even if you didn't watch it last week, think of another time you watched a documentary on poor countries and while you're in the moment, watching you cry, feel bad, want to do good. But how many people actually pull it through? How many wake up the next morning even thinking about the show or the documentary that made them cry?
For the few that do wake up with the will do change the world, did you do anything about it? What did you do?
It's very easy to say you want to change the world, you want to make a difference, but how many people actually end up doing life and world-changing things? And how many of those do it because they are philantropists, rather than that it makes them feel good?
I don't mean to attack you but i want you to really think about this:
I'm sure all of you have given spare change to a person in need at some point in your lives. What made you do it? Did you do it because you genuinely wanted to help that person and even after you gave him/her the money you were thinking about what his life must be like and how he must feel asking you for money? And who of you gave him the spare-change simply because you felt bad for the guy? How did that make you feel? Good? If that's the case wouldn't that mean that the reason you gave him the money in the first place, wasn't even to help but really, to make yourself feel better so you don't go home with a bad conscience? Do you think that's at all a possible explanation for your charitable-ness?
If the latter is true that would make this an egoistic motivation for helping where you may still be helping another person but doign it not for the sake of helping but to obtain any form of reward or to avoid punishment. The former would be an altruistic motivation for helping where the helper's end goal is to simply provide some benefit to another.
SO are we all really good people who want to help others or are we, deep down doing it all for self-profit?
My point really came up after watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and the episode where Phoebe tries to find a self-less good deed, but can't. can you think of one?
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6 comments:
I think it really depends on the situation and context. Refering to your question about giving spare change to someone, I can honestly say I cant remember giving spare change to someone directly in need - in Singapore. (Meaning i've donated on flag day and give money to foundations like SINDA and the like, but I've never actually donated directly to the person in need first-hand) So when I do donate here, I would have to say its a bit both - altruism and egoism. Its obviously important that we care about the less fortunate but at the same time I wouldnt fault someone if they said if they gave them a sense of satisfaction, I would never believe anyone who said they did something purely for altruistic purposes, unless the person was someone who achieved self-actualization to the status of Mother Theresa.
The thing is, I've been to India lots of times. And the poverty there, to see it, to see the children suffering and begging, many with limbs that were purposely removed, its heartbreaking. Most people there donate spare change, and so do I. So in this case I'm donating directly to the source that requires help, thats the closest ive ever felt that I am making a difference in a child's life, that he may get to eat a meal that day. Of course, it is encouraged that in india to donate food rather than money, because most of the money goes to the people "in charge" of the beggars.
Well, my point is, if we start complaining that people are donating out of self-satisfaction egoistic reasons, then the world is becoming a ridiculous world to live in. I mean, at least they gave and did SOMETHING! Its better than those who look the other way and pretend that the person in question isnt suffering.
I would like to point out that i know this blog entry is very different from my previous ones and i'm honestly not trying to make anyone feel bad about giving money because, as pooja said andy donation helps. The point of this entry is really only to make you think about it and be aware of it when you do it next time. to just stop and think if you are giving it 'in the moment' because you feel bad and when you've given it does that give you a sense of accomplishment or do you not feel any different than before giving?
well, i feel that the issue of altrusim vs egoism isnt really clear cut. sometimes you may donate money because of both altruistic (wanting to benefit e person) and egoistic (feel better about yourself) reasons. personally, of the times that i have donated money during flag days, i gave mostly out of egoistic motivations to make myself feel better. however, when i was approached a few times by individuals (e.g. student) for some money, i would say that both altruistic and egoistic motivations came into play. since i have been in such situations myself when i was a student, i understood how much the little help extended made me feel happy that someone bothered to help me. at the same time, knowing that i could be of help to someone helped boost my ego too.
Yup Jules I totally hear ya, its all about self-awareness. But I'm just wondering, if we do become aware of whether the intentions are egoistic or altruistic, what do we do with that information? does it matter in anyway or is it just for personal knowledge?
I know that some people do charity only for their egoistic desire to feel good about themselves. And i think "some" celebrities do charity because they want people think they are good or to make them more famous (because a lot of reporter came and will show it on TV). But i also realize not all people like that. I believe that there are people out there who really help people because they care about them. For me, i realize that sometimes i do charity because it was an obligation (ex: some event at school who need charity), but when i walked down in street i see people and i really can't stand to see their suffering. So i decide to give some money, maybe not much, but i believe it means a lot for them..
hey.. I do cry when I see poverty or children begging for money in the streets, but what can I do to change or to help? Do I become Miss Singapore to help the needy?
Sometimes I donate to charity e.g. flagday - i only donate to those charity foundations that I believe will help the people e.g cancer foundation. And of course to increase my ego & show ppl that I'm generous & kind. But sometimes I find that what use to the foundations i donated to, do they use the money collected for their own office equipment stuff or really towards the needy?
I do think twice before donating.
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